Wednesday, September 23, 2009

On Love...

"I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is" - Forrest Gump

What does it take to fall in love? Is it a journey within the eyes of another, or a look within oneself that makes it love? What does it mean to love? They say, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I cry foul play at this sentiment! To love is to be open, to put your heart within the scissors blades and place the grips in the hands of another. Can you decide that you are in love or will love choose you? I dare say that I have chose the woman, but I did not choose to love her. Quite the contrary. I found myself in love with her. Love comes to man and makes him sing. A touch, a smile, a kiss, or even the frown beneath the eyes of a disapproving stare, all confirm what your heart knows already knows is true.

In reality, a candle holding the night at bay from the wind has more a chance than love. Chaos. Two people run the roads of life hoping their paths connect. Disorder. Worlds within a world, trying to understand those they meet when they barely know themselves. Passion. The recognition of your ability to be strong and, at the same time, weak with another. Is man the sword and woman the sheath? But what of, "The souls recognition of its counterpoint in another"? Does this mean yin for yang, or is yin for yin possible? A dance, then, founded in challenge, a relationship that demands progress; only the best will do.

What is love to me? Mutual association. My very being, split in two. An explanation of who I am which at first demands the description of another. Completed by another person, myself in them and they in me. To remove that piece means unthinkable pain. Reducing a soul to pieces so that one can try to start over. Is it best then to move on when uncertainty nears? Spare yourself the torment, collect your tears and whats left of your dignity and let that person go? I would sooner burn my house, the symbol of my safety and happiness, to the ground than, "let" that someone go.

Symbols. A representation of something more. To love is to make a person into a beacon which shines with the light of everything good in your life. Could you throw away your childhood blanket, bear, or other item which you held so dear? Would it be any easier if these symbols spoke, moved, and knew you better than you know yourself? I know that out their, out the window of my life, I am imperfect. But with love, I shine immaculate and without fault. How can one desire that feeling to leave?

At times, however, the heart cries. You feel the scissors tighten as you stare through tears, pain flowing through your very being. A short tone, a cold shoulder, bitter indifference can all erupt from your lover to you. However, you hold fast because you know that with a smile, a mere whisper, you will feel relief and more. You can forget the darkness fore it makes the light shine brighter as you dare to fly again.

Without love, is this feeling possible? Meetings of the heart are the moments of Kings and Gods; should mortals have to suffer for such arrogance as to dare to love? Human nature and free will cannot be changed or controlled. It is in each of us the power to choose our own life. I do not wish the control or command of anyone else. I'm just a boy who's been in love. That's all I'll ever be.

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